What to do with free time?

You ever have that feeling when you are free to do what you want you just cant decide what to do? I HATE that feeling. It makes my skin crawl. I ache all over when I cant decide what to do. Its almost like a mini panic attack,... I guess? I don't know what else to call it but its real. With my ADHD and OCD I usually have to plan out my days to some extent. When plans go awry and I don't have a back up, or if I just have a lot of free time with nothing to do, I freeze. Ill get all mad or mopey, or something until I figure out what to do. Sometimes it reaches the point that nothing sounds like its worth doing, sounds fun. I usually work through it. The meds help. So does Tiffany, so I get through it. Not as bad as it used to be. This weekend I have the place to myself and I'm going to try and use it productively before I have to do more homework. I'm going to draw (something I have not done in a LONG time), I'm going to clean and arrange the guest bedroom, and maybe, just maybe, Ill try working on the Honda tomorrow and get that damn door open! Wish me luck!

What do Tests Prove?

I just took my third business test. This is the first one I didn't get an A on - I got a B. The test was over 3 chapters. management and Leadership, Structuring Organizations for Today's Challenges, and Production and operations Management. My Business book came with an online version that is to pace you and make sure you read whats important. You also answer questions relating to the chapters and it molds the learning to your needed areas. On the two previous tests, I had no problem. I read the chapters, did the review, and did it all over again. It seemed to be working. Well, not on this test! I could not for the life of me keep everything straight. Who knew there were 5 different production plans, or that under each one is a set of specific rules to follow! I have been reading these chapters for over a week and a half now. I still am getting answers wrong. So I figured I'd read some more and redo the review. Still did not help that much! So this leads me to my question; what is the point of testing? What does this test prove? That I am not management material? That I'm destined to be a lowly staffer all my life? Does it really prove anything other than I cant memorize all of what someone things I should know before a deadline? I mean, I understand this stuff is important, but would it not be more important if I could put it to practice and see how it effects my understanding of these terms? This is like Isaac Asimov's personal narrative "What is Intelligence, Anyway?" and Russell Baker's personal narrative on "School vs. Education." Its all just stuff that people who are deemed smart in the area of Business management put into a book and say "you need to know this to be like us." No, I don't need to know all this "stuff." Yes, it will help, but until l can put these words to action, then they aren't worth much more than the paper they are written on. According to OTC, that paper is worth a few thousand dollars... Guess I better memorize ever cents' worth...

Otaku Unite!

So as some of you may know from our greeting posts at the beginning of the semester, I am a big Anime and Manga fan. I am an Otaku (one with an overly healthy addiction to most things to do with the subject, i.e. GEEK!). Now Im sure when most of you think on Anime and Manga, you think of Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z. Yes, (unfortunately) those are Anime and Manga, but there is so much more out there! Anime is the Hollywood of Japan, well not in the respect as a physical location, but in comparison of what they produce. Japanese Seiyu (voice actors) are famous and are Japans version of our movie celebrities. Japanese bands even fight for the right to create theme music for shows. You can find horror, comedy, Shonen (for guys), Shojo (for girls, think chick flick), drama. You name it. It exists! Anime is one of my passions. I enjoy it for the stories, for the beautiful artwork, for the exposure to another culture. It is an escape to me like reading is to others. Its an entrance to the imagination, to other worlds, to other times! There is no limit. Plus as I am an artist I love to create my own versions of some beloved characters. Right now I am watching Samurai Champloo, a bohemian rhapsody spin on Samurai in Edo period feudal Japan ( just watch it, its a classic), and Sword Art Online, a show on the world first VRMMORPLG (Vrtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, man that a mouth full!) and one you log in, you either beat the game, or die...in real life! I mean, some of the stuff Japan comes up with would make killer movies over here instead of the same old same old Marvel Comics movies. It does seem at times Hollywood is out of ideas... Yes, like everything there are shows that make Anime seem like its just for kids, namely those mentioned above, but just give it a shot! Watch some on TV some time. Cartoon Network / Adult Swim on Saturday nights has a great lineup of new shows. Barnes and Noble has a huge Manga (graphic novel) section that most Anime are based on. Be one with your inner Otaku. Let me know what you think!

A Day of Reflection...

Here we are at the end of another day. Its been a good day. I feel at peace today. You ever have those days where it just feels like Someone said "its time for a break'" and everything was just Cake? I got my Business homework done, actually had people participate in a group discussion for once! I got to watch some of the TV shows I have missed (Dexter and Samurai Champloo) and spend time with Tiffany. I still haven't managed to get my Honda's door open, but the Camry is running so all is good. I am going to work on a friends car in the next couple of days and maybe get paid for it! This past week was rough, but hopefully it is smoothing out. I was disappointed with myself this past week with everything going wrong though. I didn't act the best. I let my anger control me at times, said things I shouldn't, just wasn't myself. I need to remember the things I learned in Texas. I need to remember that its not always as bad as it seems. That if you can take a breath, and just give yourself some time and ask for help, it makes things easier. Tiffany is good at helping when I let her. Sometimes though, I find that I am just being as stubborn as I can for no reason at all. It really makes me think looking back on it now. I need to open up and let people help like I used to. No one can do it all alone, and its usually better if you have more along for the ride.  Number of people involved goes up, immensity of the problem goes down. I need to remember that. Ask God, family, and friends for help before I let myself get angry. Anger is such a waste. Time and energy spent on something that could be put to better elsewhere. Now if I just had some real cake!

Redemption!

A couple really good things happened today. A couple not so good. But the good outweigh the bad so Im rolling with it! So to start off, I went and talked to Ms. A today during office hours. The feeling is mutual; its nice to put a name to a face and meet our instructor. She was very nice and very caring and understanding. I spent quite some time in her office today and got some important matters for myself and a few other students addressed. This really put me at ease for the coming semester. I may not understand everything that's coming, but if I have questions I know I can go visit her and she will listen. Another good thing that happened today was that I got new keys made for my car! While it cost $100, it was cheaper than towing it to Toyota and letting them at it ($700). They came to me an my car and were able to make the keys in a little over a half hour! It was great. Now i plan on making at least 4 copies! I  have never lost my keys. Misplaced yes, but lost no! I NEVER want this to happen again! I am supposed to be a mechanic. Mechanics don't do things like this! After I got the keys made I changed the oil and now Im sitting at Orange Leaf with Tiffany as I write this. So its been a pretty good day. Hopefully tomorrow picks up where today leaves off!

Spinning My Wheels (No, not my Mountain Bike's)

I feel rather erked today. Its like all my frustrations are coming to a head and I need to find a way to release them that is healthy and proper. The best way I can think of doing that is riding my bike. Unfortunately it does not look like I will be able to do that today since I have to work on the car that has the bike rack that can take me to where I want to go ride... I still have not found the keys to it. So today I am going to Toyota to have a key made. Then if Im lucky the keys I lost will be in the car. But I doubt it. So that means replacing the ignition interlock. Which Im not sure I can do - because you need the key to release it... So that means smashing my out with a screw driver or punch. Not something I look forward to as too much can go wrong. But I will probably have to. On top of that school is sucking the life out of me. I spend more time on the computer doing assignments that may or may not be correct because I have no feedback. I knew that online courses would be much different. But this is crazy. If I wanted to type endlessly without any point, I would be on Twitter or Face book! I did not pay hundreds of dollars to do what I could do for free in my own time! I pray it will change. More than that, I am going to do what I can to make it change!

Icing on the cake part 2.

So here it is Sunday night and I am without a functioning car. My Toyota Camry is still up at work. I never did find the keys. Luckily no one else did either or it would probably have been stolen. I tried to fix my Honda today. Im pretty sure I did. Well, then I decided to test it by shutting the door. I now no longer have a functioning driver door! It will not open. I am so pissed right now. I have never, NEVER, been without a functioning automobile. So I have to call work and have my boss find someone to fill my Monday shift while I go have keys made, replace my ignition, and then if Im lucky and have one working car, Get to kick the living crap out of my Honda and hope the door pops open. I was without words. Speechless. I cant believe this has happened to me. I guess free writing has helped my ability to get thoughts to paper, because I had nothing to say until I opened my blog to try to type. So I guess that is one good thing. Another good thing is I rebuild my mountain bike and found nothing wrong with it. SO maybe, just maybe, if I get a car or two fixed tomorrow, Ill reward myself by going to the group ride out at Two Rivers tomorrow. But I got to work fast, because it starts at 2! Hopefully I can also get some studying in for Business afterwards. English has taken so much of my time this week I have not been able to focus on Business. Im so burnt our right now. I hope things ease up in the coming weeks. Only time will tell...