Saturday Night Sucks

I just finished an essay. Its a This I Believe essay. I think I totally botched it. I misread the direction, I think. Not sure. Well see when the teacher grades it. I'm so tired right now I cant even type coherently. Its all I can do to not just say “screw it”. Hopefully things will get easier in English class. I have Business too. I have a test that I have to take this week and I haven't even studied for it. It kinda worries me, but its easier than English. I will never take online classes again. The amount of homeowner is crazy. Plus I don't have internet at home so I have to go out every time I need to get on. I did it so I could free up more time for work. But that backfired. My boss doesn't have the hours to give me now. I don't know what else to write about. I have to hit 300 words. Some arbitrary number so the teacher doesn't have to read it if its too short I guess. I don't think word count should have anything to do with English. Its not hard to fill up a page with meaningless mumbo jumbo and still pass it off as a paper. Those who want to make the grade will, those that don't wont. Its simple. Why is everything in life overly complicated? It just gets more and more gray as you go along. Maybe its the people in authority its black and white. Sure seems that way with government. Always blaming each other like its so clear cut. Here I am rambling to meet a word count criteria. Wonder how close I am without checking the counter? Just checked it. Had 15 words to go. Only 7 more. I think. Math sucks too.

Its not a weekend, its a workend!

Today marks the weekend. A time that people look forward to for free time, relaxation, and time spent with family. Me, well, I get to work so its not my weekend. But that's OK. Means more money to replace the money I blew earlier today on anime! My girlfriend isn't home anyway. She is out in Fair Play visiting family. So I got the place to myself – when I actually get to be there. But there is so much to do  when I'm not at work. I still have to finish my rough draft and edit my This I Believe Essay. Then I get to study for a business test. When thats done, I may get to actually do something I want to do – work on my car with a friend. That's if he isn't busy with homework or going home to Waynesville to visit his family. Oh well, either way Ill still work on it. Its driving me nuts. Maintenance has fallen behind so now its piled up. I have to work on my suspension, the door wiring, and if I find some money, replace some oil seals. Its come a long way. Its never had many reliability issues, just things that should be done that have been ignored. So that takes up a lot of the money I would rather put into modifying it. I still have some new suspension components I have been dying to put on but a bolt is rusted in place. Its a $9 bolt and I'm cheap so I'm trying to figure pout how to get it out  without cutting and destroying it. Then I got a new engine computer wiring harness that needs put in, but my wiring guy is out of town and I have no idea how to do that. Its magic pixie dust as far as I'm concerned. I would also like to hook up an oil catch can in place of my unused AC dryer, but that's money I don't have. Oh well. Its a project car, which is just another way of saying “money pit.” But its mine and for the most part its fun.  So maybe I will get to have a little bit of a weekend. We'll see!

My Credo

I believe that you must believe in and love yourself before you can believe in and love anyone else. I believe that family, friends, and God come before your job. Happiness cant be bought or earned, it is loving and being loved. I believe that “Live, Laugh, Love” is a way of life. I believe that, while you may never forget, you must forgive in order to be forgiven. Hate takes too much energy. Never go to bed angry. But if your family of birth is harmful, you can make a family of choice. I know that while giving up may be easier, it makes things harder down the road. I believe that I am better than I know I am, and can do things I have never even thought possible. I know that you can overcome your past, not be defined by it but if you don't learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it. Life is the way you make it. Each day is a chance to start over. I believe this life is a trip, a very short one, and you better enjoy the ride.  

My New Bike

I wasn't sure what to write about today. That's how it is most days. So I'll write about my new bike. Its an Orbea Occam full suspension mountain bike. I traded in my Cannondale CAADX cross bike for it. It is technically a "demo" and therefor used, but it was never road before the bike shop got it since its on the relatively cheap end of bikes no one wanted to ride it, instead riding the much more expensive bikes. That's fine with me. It means it didn't have any dings or scratches before I got it! its my first mountain bike, and so its a new aspect of biking that I didn't have much experience with. So here is what I have learned in the last few months:

Mountain biking is fun! instead of just riding around the same old streets, you are out on trails in the woods.

The woods are beautiful! I don't know how many deer I have seen.

Mountain biking is really hard! You don't just sit on the bike and pedal. You have to make the bike move to dodge roots, trees, the occasional rider who isn't paying attention, and other mobile objects. Plus the climbing sucks!

Going down is better than going up! Flying downhill on a 3 foot wide trail is much more fun than climbing the damn hill to get there.

Its dangerous! From said flying downhill and dodging things. I have busted my knuckles so far. one of my friends got a bruise that ran down his side and back from falling 7 feet and landing on a fallen tree.

Bugs like to eat me! Bug spray is a God send.

People that ride mountain bikes are more fun than those that ride road bikes! Most anyone on a mountain bike seems to be really laid back and fun. People on road bikes are obsessed with speed and weighing their food.

Being part of the local club is really fun! It gets you out of the house and you get to have beer with them when you are done riding or building a trail.

There is no end to the season! If you don't care what the weather is, you can experience so many different things. Riding in snow is way different than riding on dirt.

Start of Assignment 4.1 Fluency Blog - Let's Blog!

So I have an assignment. Its to free write to gain fluency in writing - to make things flow without my editing filter in my brain turned on. Just write to write, non-stop for 20 minutes or so in the beginning then less later as I develop my writing abilities. This is awkward. I keep misspelling things and wanting to immediately go back and change it. That pesky filter is slowing my fingers down second guessing themselves before they even type.

I never noticed this before but now that I'm paying attention its pretty bad. My fingers are slow, awkward. My brain is constantly thinking the things it is thinking are meaningless and trash. Is that possible? Is a minds own thoughts trash, or, THERE I GO LOOKING FORE THE DELETE KEY! Is a minds own thoughts trash, or is it the perceptions we gather as we grow. That this or that isn't good enough, fix it. Conform to a set standard that civilization considers right. But What if we could get rid of the preconceived notions of what is right and wrong, and just let go for one glorious moment? Like this free writing exercise.

 Its sloppy, its messy. But it is flowing! The longer I type the easier it is - the quicker my fingers go over the keys, no stopping! So there Mr DELETE key! You are not the boss of this keyboard for these precious few minutes. My brain can be free! This is an amazing thing. Not everything we are taught, and because of that, what we think of ourselves is true. These things that are slowing my key strokes and inhibiting my ability to put thoughts to paper are just self doubts. Doubts that I have learned from years of trying to be a certain way. That is fine to an extent but when it goes too far and tells people they cant do something because it doesn't meet to a set of standards is wrong.

My flow is kinda off now but I got that thought back I wanted! I hope this is going to get easier as it goes along. One blog down, a bunch to go!

Dungeons and Dragons - START!

So today Tiffany and I are starting a Dungeons and Dragons with her brother Joshua and two of his roommates. I have not played DND for over 4 years so its going to be interesting to see what I remember. SO far its very little. I don't remember what half the moves are, what die are used for what, etc.

Right now we are introducing our characters - mine is a Unaligned male half-orc Rogue (scoundrel) whatever all that means. My character is good at picking locks and being stealthy. Nothing I would consider I am good at. The city we are starting in is Baldurs Gate, yes, after the old video game. I wonder if there will be a lawsuit over that.

Anyway, I cant say I'm too enthused. I played it a long time ago when I had friends that were into it. It helped passed the time but I was not very good at role playing. But maybe this time will be different. Only time will tell.

It will take a long time to get very far into this. We are supposed to play every other Tuesday from 7 - midnight. I used to play about 3 hours a day 5 days a week and that took ages.

I'm really not sure what to expect. Suppose that's part of the fun. We shall see.