So I have an assignment. Its to free write to gain fluency in writing - to make things flow without my editing filter in my brain turned on. Just write to write, non-stop for 20 minutes or so in the beginning then less later as I develop my writing abilities. This is awkward. I keep misspelling things and wanting to immediately go back and change it. That pesky filter is slowing my fingers down second guessing themselves before they even type.
I never noticed this before but now that I'm paying attention its pretty bad. My fingers are slow, awkward. My brain is constantly thinking the things it is thinking are meaningless and trash. Is that possible? Is a minds own thoughts trash, or, THERE I GO LOOKING FORE THE DELETE KEY! Is a minds own thoughts trash, or is it the perceptions we gather as we grow. That this or that isn't good enough, fix it. Conform to a set standard that civilization considers right. But What if we could get rid of the preconceived notions of what is right and wrong, and just let go for one glorious moment? Like this free writing exercise.
Its sloppy, its messy. But it is flowing! The longer I type the easier it is - the quicker my fingers go over the keys, no stopping! So there Mr DELETE key! You are not the boss of this keyboard for these precious few minutes. My brain can be free! This is an amazing thing. Not everything we are taught, and because of that, what we think of ourselves is true. These things that are slowing my key strokes and inhibiting my ability to put thoughts to paper are just self doubts. Doubts that I have learned from years of trying to be a certain way. That is fine to an extent but when it goes too far and tells people they cant do something because it doesn't meet to a set of standards is wrong.
My flow is kinda off now but I got that thought back I wanted! I hope this is going to get easier as it goes along. One blog down, a bunch to go!
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